My children are teenagers, but I am still Traumatized by Klauteren’s stress to prepare them for the 100th school day. That is why I am here, a harbinger on the other side of the early childhood, to give a reminder to collect a hundred pompons … Hundred plastic eyeballs … A hundred cheerios or money. Because the 100th school day comes and your child inevitably informs you at the very last moment that they need a poster board with a hundred From something glued. Probably in a “100” formation.
In contrast to Valentine’s Day or Thanksgiving or something, the 100th school day is not compliance on a calendar. (Unless you place it there. Which would mean that you thought beforehand, in which case this is not for you.) The date changes every year. There is no “100th-day fee” or other magical visiting entity that makes your child enthusiastic enough to talk about it weeks in advance.
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So for me it never failed: in the hustle and bustle to raise four children, I would somehow miss the announcement of the school (“But I brought a paper about it, Mama!”). And the night before or the morning of, one of my children would be casually strolling towards me and dropping a bomb. Oh, do you have to dress like you are 100 years old? Of course, Lemme just grab the children’s costume for children I keep at hand.
Spoiler Alert: I actually don’t keep a children’s costume for children at hand. Or really, something good to make one. That is why I always continued to make an incredible line through the house, gathering my brain for pieces and bits that I could use to merge an acceptable (if mediocre) replacement. Do we not have fake glasses from the moment someone was Harry Potter for Halloween? Didn’t I see a big gnarly stick in the garden that we could use for a walking stick?
Or there would be the required “100 things in”. For parents like me who are not cunning, this can be a problem – namely a serious lack of things I have a hundred. I could maybe Scrap 100 cents, but I should search under my couch. I don’t keep a crowd of fuzzy pompons or googly eyes or pipe cleaners or plastic jewelry at hand. Not to mention a poster board or glue. Don’t know Why I don’t keep these things lying around because you would think I had learned my lesson after literal years of 100th day errors. You would think I had learned my lesson after I accidentally drunk my finger on a piece of recovered cardboard while I helped my child to keep 100 somewhat old cocoa bags (what? We were fresh from Cheerios). But no.
Therefore, parents, I am here to give you the heads that I needed as badly when my children were small. The 100th day festivities are coming: maybe it is this week, maybe next – maybe it is even tomorrow! – But it’s certainly lurking. So ask your children and prepare you accordingly. Order that gray wig from Amazon Prime. Grab a posterboard and make sure your glue is not crispy and unusable. Collect 100 of any small thing. Because before you know it, your child will blow with: “Hey Mom! Tomorrow is the 100th school day and I have to take a hundred (want to insert any festive requirement here). “And for once you’re ready … one hundred percent.
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